Monday, December 3, 2007
Ever wondered why...
you do what you do? I wonder that almost every day of my life. As a Youth Minister I deal with adolescent individuals that can be disrespectful, hurtful, uncaring, and thoughtless. But at the same time they can also be wonderful, caring, insightful, and generous. There are many days when I sit and wonder why in the world would I want to inflict this upon myself day after day. On some of those days I think about some of my friends that I grew up with or went to school with that are working in jobs that don't cause them such stress. Yesterday I had 3 nosebleeds out of nowhere. I don't know why, but I think it's because of stress. But I love what I do. I love the ones that I get to go through life with. Regardless of how strange it seems, I feel good about what I do. In youth ministry you are required to get close enough to kids so that they know that you care but that leaves you vulnerable to getting crucified. I get so frustrated about not succeeding sometimes, about not seeing results in kids, about seeing those kids I love get hurt by each other. But God calls me to do it. So onward I go. To what end? I don't know. But I will go as long and as hard as I can until God calls me to something else (which I hope never happens).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I think....I finally understand you. ha..it took me this long! But, by what I have just read I know now answers to questions I have wanted to ask you in the past. Ex: "Why are you so frustrated or angry towards me?" I know the answer to that one now I think it goes something like this....you were not succeeding in your attempts to help me b/c I DID so many stupid, thoughtless, selfish,...things then (when you were here) and I never changed. I may have listened to you but, I was too stubborn to act the way I was suppose to. I know your job makes you stressfull but you're very good at what you do. Just so you know, you did have an impact on my life. I always wondered how you did what you do so impecably and worthy. You have expediency in what you do. I'm sure God is really proud of you. Just try not to stress yourself about things too much. It'll go away, I know. I just lost both of my most true, best friends in the same year, Samantha Wilson in Feb. '07 and Danielle Wrenn in Oct. '07. I don't think you knew them though. When it happened I thought "it should have been me" "why would God let this happen?" "Why them and not me?" I thought I deserved to die too but I guess I was wrong. They died in really weird ways. (there were no drugs or alcohol involved). They're gone and they'll never come back. I got very depressed and lost myself. Now...I dunno...maybe I'm slowly finding myself again. Okay well I'm sorry you can't help everyone but the people you are around will someday realize that you did help them in some sort of way like I did.Even if you don't think so, they'll always remember that you tried and that you cared. It's not your job to help everyone...that's Gods job and he's using you to help alittle. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Later.
~*Amy*~
Post a Comment